14th February 2020
|Lottery News, Luck and Happiness

This way small talk gets off your tongue a lot easier

Smalltalk – Become a professional of modern conversation

Opening a small talk with a stranger is easier than you might think: a friendly look, a smile, a few meaningless words - that's enough. The important thing is to remain relaxed and let your thoughts flow. Afterwards, it is important to ask the other person a few questions so that you get to know each other better. Stay interested and friendly, relax. There are many small talk topics like the weather, the latest news and the current catering.

1. How best to start a small talk

The first sentence is the heaviest. But before it comes to that, everyone has already made the first picture of his counterpart. Which picture would you like to show of you? You want to make it as easy for your conversation partner to get into the conversation as you hope for yourself. So break the ice by smiling friendly and suggesting openness. Do not shy away from eye contact and look into each other’s eyes in a challenging but not demanding way and show that you would like to talk.

Now it will be easier for you to find your way in. You have made a first good impression and now all you have to do is get started with the relaxed conversation. Easier said than done? Don’t ponder too much. You are allowed to talk about trivial things without further ado and almost every topic is suitable for a small talk. Adapt it to the situation. And what could you not talk better about than yourself? So: Imagine yourself nicely and say something that seems appropriate for the occasion. If you are at a party, tell who invited you and ask the counter question. If you are at a trade fair, then professional questions and ideas may play a role.

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2. Choose the right small talk topics

Choose the right small talk topics
Choose the right small talk topics | Source: Pixabay

The beginning is made. You have introduced yourself and provided information about yourself that is adapted to the situation. Now it’s the other person’s turn, you think? Take it away from your counterpart by showing real interest and asking questions. Ask for the name and give space so that an idea gets enough space. You are welcome to repeat the name, so it will be easier for you to remember it.

After the performance the conversation should remain in momentum. Here it is the art to decide how much speaking time you leave to yourself or to others. Many people believe that the conversation was good if you spoke as much as possible yourself. But that’s only true to a limited extent. If you are faced with a shy person, it may make sense to take the helm yourself in order to avoid unpleasant silence. But it is much more important to adjust to the other. Small talk can’t be compared to a trial of strength or rising on a throne. A good small talk lives from chatting friendly and interested about irrelevant things. Whether the conversation develops into a deeper level doesn’t matter at first.

It’s also important not to ponder too much here: Talk about topics that are adapted to the situation and don’t trigger a controversial discussion.

Good topics of conversation are, for example:

  • The current weather
  • The place where you find yourself
  • Food and drinks available in the situation (in the restaurant, at parties etc.)
  • About current news in the industry (e.g. at trade fairs or lectures)

 

You should avoid these topics:

  • Religion and Politics
  • About other people (you don’t know the connections yet)
  • finances
  • Talking about negative issues

 

3. Positively influence small talk

Positive influence for small talk
Positive influence for small talk | Source: Pixabay

The last item in the “Don`t” list is now deepened. A nice chat should convey a positive feeling. Therefore avoid personal sensitivities. If it is too cold or too warm for you, if you don’t like it or if you have personal problems. All this has nothing to do with small talk. Even if you may be dishonest or have to act, these personal concerns are out of place at the first contact. And even if you always have a small talk with the same colleagues at the annual Christmas party – it is about a positive small exchange and not about deep problem analyses.  This also applies if you notice or perhaps even know through third parties that your counterpart is going through a hard time.

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Small talk is a conversation with a distance to be maintained. Do not drill, consciously avoid the topic and keep your distance physically in a respectful way. If you notice that your counterpart is digressing to difficult topics, try to lead the conversation smilingly and positively back to the simple entertainment level. Do not ignore what has been said, show interest and respond to this topic. But take a short break for an appropriate change of topic. It is best to ask an open question on a similar but positive topic. An example: A colleague gets upset about the boss and tries to make the mood tilt. Listen to him, he is obviously angry about something. Nod full participation and then say: “Oh, that’s really annoying. Speaking of annoying, I started doing yoga a few months ago. That helps me switch off when I get angry. Do you also do sports and which one do you like best?” Ideally, your next conversation will focus on different sports and what they have in common.

 

4. Ask the right questions during small talk

Ask the right questions during small talk
Ask the right questions during small talk | Bildquelle: Pixabay

Show interest – we have already mentioned this point. In order to find possible similarities, you should ask open questions. In the case of so-called open questions, your counterpart cannot answer yes or no. So don’t ask: “Do you also do sports?”, but formulate for a good small talk: “In which sport are you interested? In this way you can very quickly find out what you have in common and create a new level. It is important that you remain honest and authentic. Even if you don’t have a good day or don’t feel like small talk. You don’t have to be exuberant, just friendly. Be what you want, how people deal with you. Keeping this sentence in mind helps in these situations.

 

5. End small talk correctly

End small talk correctly
End small talk correctly | Source: Pixabay

Even the most interesting small talk has an end. Maybe you have to lead some more of this kind and can’t devote much time to everyone. Maybe the conversation gets tough with the time and you don’t want to “torture” yourself and the other person anymore. But end it gently! Be respectful and do not leave the interviewer alone. Either introduce him to a third person or take him to the buffet. In any case, you should thank him for the conversation, promise him another meeting and smile.

 

6. Exceptions confirm the rule

Exceptions confirm the rule
Exceptions confirm the rule | Source: Pixabay

The more attentiveness you exercise, the faster you will know how the other person is ticking. Listen carefully and get involved with the person. You may soon notice that small talk is not appropriate here. Maybe you are immediately on the same wavelength and can only laugh about trivial things. Maybe the conversation gets a certain depth faster than expected. Then be open for the new kind of small talk. But beware: Sometimes appearances are deceptive. So nevertheless be polite and distant and take your time for the right assessment. You can practice the tips offered at any time. Overcome yourself and talk to your unknown companion on the next elevator ride and practice small talk.

You will see with the time: The less you have to think, the better the small talk will work! The less you think, the more time you have to play with our random number generator!

Good luck with your next tip!